I honestly don’t know why you’re not supposed to wear white after Labor Day but I refuse to look it up.

laughterkey:

gifyoutube glitched out on me and I can’t stop laughing.

laughterkey:

gifyoutube glitched out on me and I can’t stop laughing.

(via rafibomb)

lillkogobean:

derinthemadscientist:

anomolisticbeauty:

malgosh:

moshita:

Anecdotes by medical practitioners 

"A woman came in for a baby check with her 6-month-old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby’s bottle. So he started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldn’t be giving her baby chocolate milk. At which point she interrupts him and says, ‘Oh that isn’t chocolate milk. It’s coffee! He just loves it!”

"I had a patient come in for an STD check. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Progressing through my assessment, she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn’t matter ‘because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it thoroughly after every use’.”

"Had a lady who measured her baby’s temperature by pre-heating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby’s forehead. She told the nurse her baby’s fever was about 250 degrees.”

"Lady has to have foot amputated and is given waiver forms to sign pre-op. Buddy asks if she needs time to think about it. She’s very nonchalant and doesn’t seem to care much what they do. He gets suspicious and probes a bit as to why she’s not more concerned. She says she gets that they have to operate and it’s OK because the foot will grow back.”

"I had a couple who had been trying to conceive for over two years. I asked all the usual questions, how often do you have sex, any previous pregnancy, etc etc. Something seemed off to me during the consult, so I continued to ask questions. Finally I asked if he ejaculated while inserted into the vagina. Both parties looked confused.Turns out the couple was not having insertional sex at all. I had to awkwardly explain to them how insertional sex works. Diagrams were required.”

"Patient comes in, she’s upset. She’s pregnant, and she doesn’t understand why. She’s on the pill. Upon talking to her at great length, I find out that she only takes the pills on the days that she is sexually active – no other time.”

"Patient comes in with her bf. They are indignant, as if somehow I could’ve prevented [the pregnancy]. The problem? Well, the pills were bothering the girl’s stomach, so, being a gallant bf, he decided to start taking them instead.”

I was explaining the treatment to the husband of a patient about to be discharged. He kept nodding and agreeing with me, but I knew it was flying over his head. Turned out a fundamental problem was that I was describing the drugs as ‘tablets’ and he had no clue what those were.

Reddit thread 

Hahah

Oh my god… I can’t decide if I should laugh or cry…

People sometimes doubt the that standardised health and sex education is necessary. This is why those people are wrong.

"I had to awkwardly explain to them how insertional sex works. Diagrams were required.” 

i think i’m going to cry.

Bunch of dumb idiots

(via crack-is-like-wack)

a-random-mod:

Guardians of the galaxy was so good.

a-random-mod:

Guardians of the galaxy was so good.

(via tastefullyoffensive)

I’m the only one in my house that closes the door to go to the bathroom.

You, Me, and Jermaine Dupri

My vows will be
“Like Kashagoogoo Crunch, there will be people who don’t understand you, people who judge you, people who reject you. But like Kashagoogoo Crunch, I will never give up on you.”

I don’t see why people aren’t just straight up themselves when they meet someone. If they’re wacky or something, they try to dial it back and then slowly crank it when they are closer to the person. I feel like they’re either going to accept it or not. Why waste your time not being you just because you worry they won’t understand or accept the real you. There are plenty of people to be friends with or date. You’re seriously gonna waste time trying to impress someone that might inevitably reject you instead of just being upfront. They don’t get it, move on. They do, you’ve got someone special.
Quit wasting your own time dummies.

I guess that would need set up…
Like do you think Josh Groban has a big flaccid penis?
Well there’s a reason he’s called Josh GRO(wer)ban and not Josh SHO(wer)ban…
Or we can all just move on.

He’s Josh Groban
Not Josh Shoban

Penguins are lucky. Getting to huddle in a big group to share warmth so they don’t freeze to death like a bitch.

discare:

Do you ever just wish you could unmeet someone? like maybe they were great up first, or even for awhile. But then they cause you so much pain and sadness that it wasn’t even worth the good times. So now they’re just stuck in your life, in your fuckin thoughts. You want them out but nope, forever they’ll be part of you.

were great up first

(via ekbabe)

hukgwai:

spoolwillmakeherdrool:

elperezidente:

kyssthis16:

foreverpruned:

cindimayweathersson:

ezelsklap:

niallwardvevo:

ventai:

HE HAS RETURNED

HE’S BACK

THE GOD

Jesus when will it stop.

Like im fucking crying

He’s a legend!

Hero

legendary

dad

He just looks so happy to do it too. He’s like I know you all want it so I’m here for ya. Fuck her right in the pussy :)

(via ekbabe)